Doubt ...

so last night, I attempted to help my sis in law with some calculus homework ... short story, I failed miserably.

dunno if I should beat myself over this or not. I mean, I haven't done anything remotely similar to calculus in over 12 years. I think that was in my previous life when I was an Embry Riddle student. Sometimes I have trouble remembering who that guy was and what the hell he was thinking. *LOL*

So where does doubt fit in? Right smack in the middle of my attempt at a BS degree. If I can't remember thing 1 about calculus 1, can i even bother to try for an engineering degree? Granted this isn't like an aerospace engineering degree. As I understand it those guys are more in touch with engineering theory, and the thing I'm considering, Electrical Engineering Tech, focuses more on the practical engineering. In other words, the aerospace guys think it up, I make it work. When i started this whole app process for the degree I asked the guy who is now my adviser about the math thing. Specifically the calculus. Was I going to need a refresher course or something? He said I wouldn't because I was going to pursue practical application of engineering and not theory. I suppose that should make me feel better but it kinda doesn't.

I'm probably worrying myself over nothing once again. Wouldn't be the first time. *L*

Part of that worry is I think I am putting my all or nothing into this degree idea and if I don't do it, then I officially write off my life as a failure and live with it.

Even though this blog is only a few weeks old, and I'm pretty sure no one is reading, I'm considering letting some people I know read it just to get SOME kind of feedback. But I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. Some may understand what I am writing here. Others I know will look at this as foolish and stupid. Maybe that's how I find out who my real friends and supporters are?

Here's something weird.... Even though I haven't been off Facebook for a whole month yet, it feels like a whole lot more time has past. What's with that? I almost gave into weakness and reactivated the account a few days ago. I used to laugh at stories about Facebook and Internet addiction. That was until I realized I was one of those addicts.
Maybe I DO need to speak to someone about it ......