Regrets, I've had a few

This post I'd like to take the time to talk about regrets.

I have three regrets in life. Two of them will be discussed here. The third one at a later date when and if I am ever ready to share it with the world.

Regret Number 1: I never truly studied the martial arts.
I started training in karate when I was 10 years old. My dad was my sensei. Now upon hearing this most people would think I had a sweet deal here, having a dad that was an instructor, and they're right. The problem I had was I was too young and immature to understand what the training was all about, so I stopped at the age of 12. The other issue was that at the time I stopped, dad was off working in another state and one of the other students was teaching the classes. Long story short, I didn't like the way he ran the classes so I stopped going. Sometimes I think that started a trend of me not finishing things. When I look back there are many things I started doing that I never finished or finished at a much later date after I pretty much forced myself to finish them. Probably save those for a future entry if I feel like it's necessary.

So yeah, I gave it up. Dumbest thing I ever did I think. Well maybe not THE dumbest but it definitely ranks up there. Recently I've been looking for some other way to train as a way to make it up to myself but it is difficult. So many karate schools are there strictly for the money it is hard to find a decent school. Some of them are what is referred to as "belt factories" where they run people up the ranks as quickly as possible. Definitely something I'd change about my past if I was ever given that chance.

Regret Number 2: I (virtually) gave up music!
When I was in high school I was a musician. I could play the baritone, the tuba, and the trombone. I could also kinda play the trumpet if I really worked at it. By my senior year, playing music took up the majority of my time. I was in every music group the school had, except the choir. I was the marching band drum major for two years. The jazz band I was in was ranked among the best in the state of New Jersey. It almost seemed like a no-brainer that I would continue to pursue music after high school. But, no.

When I was getting close to graduation and it was time to choose colleges and all that, I met with the guidance counselor. I don;t recall exactly what we talked about but I must have mentioned continuing to pursue music after high school. What I DO remember, was being told that it was virtually impossible to make a career and a living in the music world. I didn't know what to say. Here I was being told that the one thing I enjoyed more then anything else in life was going to have to be given up. If I was going to go to college I had to pick a "practical" career and that college was something that I "had to do" if I was going to have any kind of future.

This is the part where we all collectively say, "BULLSHIT!!" College was a huge cluster-fuck. I was in schools for almost 10 years and all I walked away with was an AS degree in Computer Networking. Big freakin' deal. Later I got another AS in Graphic Arts but never went anywhere with that so that was a huge waste of my time and money. Now I am thousands in debt and have nothing to show for it. I've been told that most likely I won't have a career based on my college major. Well then what the hell was the fucking point?!? The first person to give me that bullshit about being "well rounded" gets a boot to the head.

Anyway, within the last decade I learned that it sure as hell COULD have made a career as a musician. I may not have been stinking rich at but I could have made some kind of living out of it and not to toot my own horn ( no pun intended) but I WAS that good! Seriously, I could play three instruments, almost a dozen different styles of music, and I could play almost anything that was put in front of me within a few minutes of looking it over. Today I play the harmonica. I was in a band from 2001 to 2005. I played almost every weekend and as part of a headline act at Bike Week and Biketoberfest. I would never claim to have been incredibly popular, but every so often I'd run into someone who knew who I was and what I did. For the last four years I've been  part of a harmonica contest here in New Smyrna Beach and for a while I was occasionally going to jam sessions and open mic nights again.

But it's not enough! I need more music in my life. It's been hard to go out and jam with the job I have now. It requires a lot of early morning and overnight shifts. Actually those are the ONLY kind of shifts they have. Maybe that is what I need to focus on for this re-invention of mine. Truth be told I think I am at my happiest when I'm playing music in front of a crowd.

Well that's it, my two biggest regrets in life. May not sound like anything too serious to most people but they are my regrets and they matter to me. Number three is a biggie to me as well, but as I've said I'm not ready to share it just yet. Maybe someday I will. We'll see.